Making Holiday Gatherings Inclusive for Special Needs Loved Ones

The holiday season is a special time of year that brings family and friends together for  laughter, good food, and cherished traditions. However, for families who have a loved one with special needs, holiday gatherings can also bring unique challenges. By taking a few thoughtful steps, you can ensure that everyone, including those with special needs, feels welcome, comfortable, and included in the festivities. Here are some helpful tips to make your gathering more accessible and enjoyable for everyone. 

1. Designate a Getaway Room 

Creating a designated "getaway room" can be a game-changer. This is a safe space where your special needs loved one can go to take a break if they feel overwhelmed. Choose a quiet, comfortable area that is away from the party crowd. 

This simple gesture helps create a sense of security and comfort for anyone who might  need some time away from a noisy or busy environment. If it’s possible, discuss with the  caregivers in advance to understand what features would make this room most  beneficial for the individual. 

2. Ask What Gifts the Child Would Like 

When choosing a gift for a loved one with special needs, the key is to be considerate and thoughtful. Avoid focusing on what you think is "age-appropriate" or what might be  considered a "typical" gift. Instead, ask the caregivers or the child themselves (if  appropriate) what would bring joy to the child. 

For example, some children with special needs may have favorite items that don’t fit  typical age expectations. My brother has autism, and at 30 years old, his favorite gifts are often snacks like beef jerky or movies typically seen as “too young” for his age, such as Barney or Mickey’s Sing-Along Songs. It’s important to respect their preferences without judgment. 

Remember, don’t skip giving a gift if everyone else is receiving one. Even non-verbal  children can sense exclusion and may feel hurt or lonely. 

3. Be Respectful During Conversations 

When speaking with a person who has special needs, address them directly and avoid  talking about them as if they’re not there. This can feel incredibly isolating and hurtful,  even if the person has communication challenges or is non-verbal. 

• Assume they can understand everything. 

• Use respectful language and treat them as you would anyone else.

• Avoid making insensitive comments or assumptions about their condition.

Your words and demeanor have a powerful impact. Treating a person with special  needs as a valuable member of the group goes a long way in making them feel  welcome. 

4. Check Around Your House 

Before the gathering, do a quick assessment of your home environment to ensure it is  safe and accessible for your special needs guest. Different disabilities will require  different considerations, so it’s best to tailor your preparations accordingly. 

Things to Check: 

• For Physical Disabilities: Look for any physical barriers that might hinder access. Can  wheelchairs reach the living room, bathroom, and dining area? Consider temporary  ramps or rearranging furniture to create wider paths. 

• For Autism or Sensory Sensitivities: Hide fragile items or valuables that could be  unintentionally broken. Ensure medications or other dangerous items are safely out of  reach. 

• For those Prone to Wandering: Check that doors are secure to prevent them from  getting lost. 

When in doubt, ask the person’s caregivers what safety measures might be helpful to  implement in your home. 

5. Think About Transportation 

Transportation is often one of the biggest barriers for people with disabilities. Make sure to check in advance if they have a way to get to and from your gathering. If needed, offer to arrange transportation or provide a ride yourself. 

This thoughtful gesture shows you’re thinking about their participation and want to help  eliminate any obstacles that might prevent them from joining in the celebration. 

6. Consider Parents’ Needs Too 

Parents of children with special needs are often on high alert during social events, watching to make sure their child is safe and that their needs are met. Offering to help with the child can allow the parents a moment to relax and enjoy themselves. 

What You Can Do: 

• Organize a rotation of family members or trusted volunteers to take turns staying with  the child, allowing the parents to have a break. 

• If staying alone with the child feels overwhelming, consider simply staying with the  parent to keep them company and provide support. 

• Always discuss this ahead of time to see what the parents are comfortable with and  what would truly be a blessing to them.

Even a small gesture of support and understanding can mean the world to parents who  often don’t get a chance to take a break or enjoy the event fully. 

By incorporating these thoughtful considerations, you can create a more welcoming and  enjoyable holiday experience for your loved ones with special needs. Everyone deserves to feel valued and included, especially during special gatherings. 

Christina Muco is an International Disability Consultant with Mikey's Hope Disability  Services, an organization dedicated to supporting families and creating inclusive  environments for individuals with disabilities. With years of experience, Christina helps  families and communities navigate the unique challenges of disability, ensuring that  everyone can participate and thrive in meaningful ways. You can connect with her and  the organization through social media: 

• Instagram: @mhdisabilityservices 

• Facebook: Mikey's Hope Disability Services 

• Website: mhdisabilityservices.com 

• Email: contact@mhdisabilityservices.com